November brings the holidays, winter weather, and a new year quietly waiting in the distance. A time to remember the soldiers who died in our wars, those veterans who fought, and those currently serving to keep our country safe.
A time for families to gather, share the bounty of food, and renew their favorite memories of grandma or mom's special family dish. The aroma of the turkey roasting and pumpkin pies cooling on the counter waiting for their whipping cream topping.
My grandma always baked my favorite, elderberry pie, along with the traditional pumpkin pie. Its deep blue berries half tart/half sweet cooked down into a berry sweet almost jam-like filling. No whipping cream on my slice. I wanted the pure taste of the elderberries in contrast to the short, browned pie crust.
Dessert lingered with cups of hot coffee, sometimes a glass of bourbon or sherry as the older folks reminisced about those who passed last year sensing their empty space at the table. They told stories of growing up on the farm. The fun and the hard work, the weather disasters and the warm church gatherings on Sundays. I remember it as a time of connection and the cozy feel of love, lulled by the ancient stories, voices of those who were part of me.
And now I'm the old woman at the table. The story tellers are all gone. I never thought how much I would miss them; a child's illusion that every Thanksgiving would be like that forever. I miss them, the laughter, the elderberry pie, and the stories of a family who worked together, stuck together, took care of each other, and still found joy in everyday life.
This Thanksgiving our house will be filled with the aroma of the turkey roasting, and pumpkin pie. There will be a few empty chairs from those who have passed. I’ve not been able to find elderberries for years, but the stories of family Thanksgivings are with me, ready to share along with the pumpkin pie with those family members who are able to attend.
Wishing you a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving regardless of who can and can’t attend or that caregiving may make travel impossible. We still have our stories to be told, turkey and stuffing, green bean casserole and sweet potatoes with marshmallows, and perhaps a pumpkin pie to be Thankful for.
I am here to help you and wish you a wonderful Holiday Season.
Amy, The Caregiver Mentor for Family Caregivers